Monday, August 29, 2005

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I dunnoe wat the fuck is wrong with me..... i really dun... i feeling so fucked up this few WEEKS like fuck like tat.... everyone is having pro i am getting really really really very tired.... Y SHITS HAS TO HAPPEN??????? Y MUZ PPL ALRD ME GET HURT N STUFF LIKE TAT??? YES I AM HAVING PRO SO WAT??? U GOT PRO WITH ME??? COME FIND ME LAR... REALLY DUN FUCKING NOE WAT THE FUCK U ALL WAN FROM ME U NOE??? I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING SOFT TOY.... YES I AM NOW IN A FUCK BAD MOOD SO WAT??? BITE ME?? COME.... Y MUZ PRO APPEAR SO NEAR MY FUCKING BDAY??? Y SHIT HAVE TO COME TO ME??? Y CAN U TELL ME Y???? I AM SO SICK N TIRED NOW.... IF I CAN LIVE A 17YRS OF MY LIFE WIHTOUT ONE FUCKING SINGLE FRN Y I CANNOT DO IT NOW??? Y AM I SO DEPEND ON PPL NOW???? I NEED TO STAND ON MY OWN U NOE??? I REALLY NEED TO... Y AM I CAUSING PRO TO MY PARENTS??? Y??? Y R THOSE PPL ARD ME NEEDS HELP WHICH I TOTALLY CANNOT GIVE??? Y???? Y IS MY GRANDMOTHER DOWN WITH A SICKNESS???? Y??? Y AM I FEELING SO ANGRY??? Y??? THINGS R NOT GOING THE WAY I WANTED Y??? DO ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKED UP DO I FEEL NOW????

i got into a fight today with a fucker... if u dun like me or have no faith then y in the 1st place do u wan to give me hope???? if i dun have a chance at all dun even lead me on.... i wanted to patch back with u but wat the fick did i c today???? u with another guy???? how am i supposed to feel??? i wanted to surprise u but in the end i am the one whom was surprised... everyone was telling me tat u r the correct gal for me they ask me to accept u n they all wanted to c who r u.. but it looks like they have no chance at all ar???? u say u were busy i beleive u i wan to give u the best but u choose to go another way... do i feel sorry for the asshole??? no i dun... do i feel sad now?? no i dun... i am now having a silent fury in me now... i wan to drink but i cannot, i wan to beat other ppl up but i cannot,i wan to go to a place where i can have me myself n the big lovely ocean but i cannot... i wan to left this fucking place but i cannot.... WTF U WAN ME TO DO?????????

i am feeling so useless n toopid now.... i think i will juz go..............

the neverending dream || 9:12 PM

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Gf important or frn important??? this qn i haven been thinking... if i got a gf will i be like tat??? will i tell my frns tat u all can wait on the second place yes i noe how important gf is but muz it be like tat?? or i am juz too bastard??? i dunnoe i really dun....

the neverending dream || 1:45 PM

Thursday, August 25, 2005

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IZZT FAIR TO ME ANOT??????? THINK!!!!!!!!!! u really think i wan to spend the money meh??? DO I GOT A CHOICE??????? YA IT IS ALL MY FAULT... Y DO I BOTHER SO MUCH SINCE U DUN GIVE A FUCKING DAMN ABT IT??? Y AM I MANTAINING THIS R/S Y?? U THINK COZ I HAPPY AR?? Y AM I PUTTING SO MUCH EFFORT N NONE OF U IS DOING ANYTHING?? COZ I WAN TO HELP HIM SO IT ALL BECOME MY PRO RIGHT???? DID I USE THE MONEY ON MYSELF??? DID I ANOT????? EVEN IF GOT ALSO VERY LITTLE COZ I NEED TO USE IT TATS Y... DID I ASK U TO PAY BACK FOR ME NO!!!! I DID NOT..... IT IS OK IF U DUN FEEL LIKE HELPING U CAN JUZ TELL ME ONE IT IS OK DE.... DUNNOE Y THE FUCK I CARE SOP MUCH FOR U ALL FOR FUCK AR!!!!!!!!

FROM NOW ONWARDS I WILL WASH MY HANDS OFF ALL OF U... DUN COME FIND ME IF U ALL GOT ANY PRO DUN EVER COME FIND ME!!!!!!!!!

FUCK THIS TOOPID N FUCKED UP WORLD.....

y shld i always be the one who is putting in effort n time for all of ur pro??? y??? did i even give u all one small pro to worry abt DID I??? r/s fail or got pro then come find me who u think i am??? LIFE GUARD???? LIFE JACKET???? ok with bf liao then kick me one side izzt??? HALO i got feeling one hor.... i am not a robort.... for all of ur info I AM NOT HAVING A GD TIME OK????? did any one of u spare a thought for me??? i also need ppl's assurance wat,i also need TLC... one after another all the same thing halo when i shag tat time did i say anything??? when u all r sad i put down everything to listen n to help u all... i am sick n tired liao who can help me??? who the FUCK UNDERSTAND ME???

the neverending dream || 11:46 PM

Sunday, August 14, 2005

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Mon went out with zhehan,ys,Gon,zy... it is always fun n happy to c them.... they really brighten up my day... tok cock n have fun walking ard... it has been a very very very very very long time since i meet up with zhehan n gon. Both of them r ppl whom i can really relax with n tok cock onli without afraid of making a fool out of myself LoL... In the evening saw bitch n carol came down to had dinner with us n went to c movie.... i forget wat show liao but like wat they say the show does not matter it is the company tat wil make u feel happy....

Tues stay at hm rest for a while b4 went out with zy n his female frn.... after tat wen t to c serence perform for NDP very nice i think coz i dunnoe how to apperciate those kinda of artistic things.... U can shoot me all u wan i dun give a damn f**k lol....

Wed went back tekong n started my PLC life....In any case u r wondering PLC stands for Pasir Lebar Camp... Reach camp then i discover tat my locker has been break into n my boots n pants were missing... jokcey cap also WTF!!!!!!!!!!! i am very pissed off... now my locker door is like totally off the hinge lor.... Lan Lan went down to emart to buy boots which cost 104 luckily i still got credit but guess wat i use finish every single cent of it liao haiz.... no need to buy things already... As u all noe new boots/shoes sucks right??? imagine i have to wear the thing to drive all the way from MT Line to SIspec n drive back from sispec to RPL n park at SFT.... the next morning i 430 wake up n went down to drive the L/R to PLC then after tat drove back to SFT b4 i push the l/r in my side ask me to go PLC again with another coy.... CCB!!!!!!!!! trying to sabo lor.... anyway i was very very pissed off bt still did it lar n stay over night at PLC tats up down three times sing u noe?? from one end to another... onli on fri then i went back camp... but bitch was sad so accompany her tok n nv slp again... for 2days plus nv slp at all wan to die sia... Sat went back at 11 then went hm to slp till 7plus pm then wake up... after tat went down to mel house n went to c land of dead... it was a ok show onli maybe coz mood kena spolit by ppl haiz dun say liao...

After the show i went hm alone coz all four of them r going the same way n i am like the odd one out so went hm alone.... but i reach hm faster than all of them.... This morning meet them n went JB..... At ard 5plus 6 mel n bitch WERE FINALLY TOGETHER liao.... i feel happy for them but on the other hand i feel very sad n lonely... I noe mel for so long he change 5gf liao lei while i haven even had a chance to go touch it... GOD noes how long since i had touch a lady or had a gf man..... But nv the less i feel happy for them... hope they will last very very very long n i have con in both of them.... Jiayou u can do it de....

zy:u also can de, u will find a lady soon one dun worry u dun have bad kama like me so chill man.....

the neverending dream || 11:20 PM

Monday, August 08, 2005

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Am i not gd euf for all of u??? Am i a burden to all of u??? Am i too KPO??? Y all of u wait till things turn out like f**k then come running to me??? yes i noe shit happening to all of u... but have one of u spare a feeling for me???

U might all think hai ya tom is a happy go lucky guy he where got pro one??? even got also small case compare to ours.... He can always solve himself.... yes correct to u all i can always handle my own stuff without making ppl worry or sad 4 me but can u all dun forget tat i am still a human being??? i am not a robort.... i got feelings i noe anger n saddness... is juz tat i dun show.... but it does not mean i dun have........

i am trying my best with all ur pro liao... really... u wan money i pop out money u wan support i am juz a phone call away,u wan ppl to go out i will try my best to go out with u... u wan wat i give u wat... wat more u expect me to do???

i am really tired really really very tired... i have being supporting u guys for so long have u all even think abt me??? have u all spare a thought for me??? i am a BTC person so i dunnoe how to speak properly n civil but i dare to say i am using my heart to be with u guys.... since when i give u all up since when???? pro keep popping up how am i supposed to solve everything??? i am juz a human being....

the neverending dream || 1:28 AM

Friday, August 05, 2005

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Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

the neverending dream || 8:50 PM

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i feel very burn out this past one week... both pysically n mentally... Pro come back to back after one another... I lost my temper 1st time in 5yrs plus... i was really very pissed off with someone... I dunnoe y i am feeling so fucked up now... last time cannot be compare with now my feeling... I hate it when ppl hurt my frns n bros...

Angela is feeling very low this few days i dunnoe y but it really hurts me when she feel sad.... The person better dun let me find out who is hurting her.. i will kill the person man..... i am serious... DEAD serious... she is one of the few ladies whom i really care alot for.... Muiki,peipei,xiao ping,joy,qiqi n angela this few ladies got my undying loyalty trust n i really care for them... who hurt them = to hurting me... i DUN LIKE TO BE HURT..... so u better run now when u got the chance, coz i am going to skin u personally n make u suffer hell.... i will HELP u DEFINE WAT IS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

i miss mel,he is my pillar of strength this few yrs since the day i noe him... he has been accompanying me all this while n supporting me thought all the shit i am given... now in the most troubled time i am going through now he is not there... our r/s r very very hard to discribe unless u really noe us.... i am going through a rough patch now i need his presence n support....

This few days i really apperciate tat bitch is there for me she is one hell of a sweet lady... but too bad SHE IS MEL'S hahaha... caught u this time right bitch hahahaha... ya i am toking to her now also haha... ok i go slp liao...

I HATE THIS MTH!!!!!!!!!!

the neverending dream || 12:28 AM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

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Got back to work on fri,Kena BIC for R,P n M coy coducted by T coy haha... saw raymond whom was BMT frn... quite bored man the thing.... it drag for a long long time, onli finish at 5plus after tat i went out with her had dinner n went up her house.... Tok till ard 9 then i went back hm n wait for ys to call me go out hahha....

went 85 n after tat all of them came up my house to drink... Basically whole night nv slp thought can go Tekong slp guess wat?? at there i cannot slp....... then kena duty agian back to back... then the T coy officer c me also shake head "Y u all driver so siong ar??" "hIaz sir dun say liao haiz..." onli came back tis morning haiz........

dunnoe wat happen to tag board this few days like tat can some one tell me wats wrong??? other ppl can have tag board y i cannot???? haiz.......

the neverending dream || 12:14 AM

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