x my heart x


alias Ki||ua aka Tom
d.o.b. 1109198*
gender Young Boy
schools Junyuan Pri,Damai Sec,Bedok View Sec,Tamp ITE,Thames Bussiness Sch,BmTc ScH 2 OrIoN Coy,Sch of transport, ITE East College

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x if not for you x


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Melvin Tan Debra Zhiyi Katty Serene Jasmine Ah Lei Daniar Tang vivian aka Ting aprill[e] aka April Ng Yang Yang


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Monday, November 14, 2005

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Verdict is out now, i will have to pay 1.1K to repair the vehicle n if i got into another accident i will get charged... Case close. happy?? not really coz i have to go bother my parents for the money to pay for the repair n i noe recently the bussiness is not doing very gd... but i got no choice y am i such a asshole??? the heart pain the trouble i give ppl.... 21liao still make my parents worry n fuss over me wat type of son is this????

This few days have not been going out dunnoe y also, keep cooping myself at hm for the past one mth i think i onli went out two time or less with frns.... did not tok much also.... i start to lose aim n faith in myself things r coming crushing on me, i actually have no appietate to eat nor to drink. I am not looking forward to anything at all serious NOTHING.... even buy game also can buy a game tat is cock up how wonderful right!!!!! how can u buy a game tat actually ur com cannot support coz it is too updated???? well i did it how wonderful right???

i have this thought tat i am going into depression coz i have no feelings now at all!!!! i dun feel sad nor angry nor happy, even when i smile is skin tat is smiling not my meat.... i really feel very terrible HOW!!!!!!!! i dun believe in god i onli believe in myself but now i dun believe anymore... i eat coz i have to eat to survive n not make anyone worry i drink coz of the same reason i slp coz tat is the onli time where i am free but even tat i will still get waken up by ppl anytime.... i am not doing anything worth doing now to me... this few dats my heart starts to pain again difficulty breathing.... wat is life??? Hahahahahahaha............

the neverending dream || 11:26 PM

Sunday, November 06, 2005

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Time flies ar.... one more mth has pass n things r not turning gd on my side how wonderful.... since the last update i have been rushing thought n fro from tekong n my house.... one week barely c my family once even if c liao also did not really tok... i really wan to sit down n tok to my parents but the way i was brought up was the old way which means parents r not ur frns nor can u tok to them wat they say u listen dun fight back they r always right.... but i noe my dad is not such a person is juz now we dun tok my mum is more such a person ba.... i really dunnoe how....

went zy bday on the 1st nov it was great quite a few ppl came n ya had fun... at night after most of the ppl went hm juz leave we this few frns had a gd tok.... i did not imagine tat i am such a useless guy, i cause so much problem to ppl espically ppl whom i hold dear to my heart.... i really hate my mouth for shooting out things.... i really dunnoe how... family r/s dunnoe how to handle,bros' feeling forget,army sux to the core, i really fail in my life man.... all this i still have to put on a strong front to ppl i am getting sick n tired liao..... some things i feel depress n i did think b4 tat i have depression but i dun dare tell ppl coz i dun wan them to worry for me.... wat kok say was right y think live a life of wat ppl wan y dun i live a life of my own the reason is coz i already lost everything..... i wan all of u all to be happy really... yes i have to admit tat when i c my bros with gf i feel abit jealous n think if they can do it y i cannot.... i also wish to be attach but things dun turn the way i wan n seriously saying i dun give a fucking damn care abt got gal to intro me or wat so ever shit coz i dun need them really.... i already lost my touch of everything..... in short a big failure.... no money no freedom no looks no charm mouth like fuck body like shit...

have been staying hm once i bk out coz i really dun wan to trouble ppl n dunnoe where to go haiz.............

P.S dun worry all of u will not understand wat i am toking sorry for toking rubbish n thanx for seeing my blog

the neverending dream || 12:53 AM

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